i'll be coming home, wait for me
by funsizedforever
Summary: What Finn is thinking of during part of 1x5, 'Rhodes Not Taken.'


_Here's a short and sweet one-shot to keep you up at night. :)_

* * *

Finn Hudson had only ever been sure of two things in his life before: that he wanted to make his mom proud, and that he crazy-liked Rachel Berry for some reason. Yeah, the girl was a little bonkers, but she was passionate and driven. Which is probably one of the reasons Finn didn't like _the_ April Rhodes.

He couldn't really explain what it was, but he felt like there was just something off about her, and not just the fact that she was kind of ancient. She just didn't seem to want to perform anymore… it more seemed that she wanted to be popular. And, Finn knew he shouldn't compare her to Rachel, but Rachel was _so_ much better. Plus, she was kind of a crazy person. Finn could've sworn that she was hitting on him the other day…

His thoughts were interrupted as April herself entered the room.

"Hi, honey bunch, whatcha doin'?" April winked at him as she put her hands on his chest.

"Oh… just thinking about Glee and stuff." Finn rubbed the back of his head as he stepped away from April.

"So, that Rachel Berry. She's _good_ around here, right?"

"Yeah, she's the best singer I've ever heard." Finn saw April scowl, but he could honestly care less.

"Really? Because not only did I hear the gay guy who's directing _Cabaret_ yell that she sucked all the way to Timbuktu, but I walked in on her crying in the bathroom. She must not be as good as everyone thought after all." April looked smug as she finished speaking, like that it would prove something to him.

"Sandy Ryerson yelled at Rachel? But she's the lead in the play, he cast her as the lead."

"Say what you will, but I know what I heard- and saw." With that, she started to walk out of the room.

"April!"

"Yes?" She turned around looking _hopeful_?

"Did you say Rachel was crying when you went into the bathroom?"

"Yeah, yeah I did toots." April rolled her eyes and left the choir room.

As Finn sat in solitude, he thought about Rachel. _How did that even happen?_ He wondered to himself. Mr. Ryerson would probably want to date Rachel if he weren't gay.

"She must be devastated." Finn said to the empty room. Then, all of a sudden, it hit him. Finn knew how to make Rachel feel better and how to get her to come back to Glee.

"Bowling."

* * *

"Finn, to be honest, I'm not sure what to think."

"What do you mean you don't know what to think, Rachel?"

"Well, you know, sometimes you seemed attracted to me, then sometime you get angry at me, and now you've ask me to go bowling with you. It just seems odd."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. I don't mean to give the wrong… impersonation. I really like you, Rachel."

"I really like you, too, Finn. And I think that you mean impression." Rachel gave Finn one of her megawatt smiles that always gave him goosebumps.

"You're probably right. So, do you think you can go?"

"I think I can fit you into my schedule." Another megawatt smile, dammit.

"Great, Rach. Just great." Finn gives Rachel one of those half smiles he knows makes her crazy. "I'll pick you up after school tomorrow at six."

"Ok, Finn, see you then." Rachel gives him a small smile and walks away.

* * *

Ok, so Finn can tell that Rachel has never been bowling before. She had already told him that when they got to the alley, but Finn didn't think that she would be that bad.

But when she made that strike, Finn was awestruck. No matter how bad Rachel was at bowling, she still had a moment that made her shine like the star she is. That's why Finn hugged her in the first place. And that's why it felt so natural when Rachel kissed him.

Finn wasn't trying to lead Rachel on at all, but he also knew that he couldn't be with her because Quinn was pregnant. Which still didn't make sense to him, because they hadn't had sex, but he went with it anyway. Why would Quinn have a reason to lie to him, anyway?

"Rachel, will you just look at me?" Rachel had been avoiding Finn since the kiss. She didn't even talk to him in the car, which was like a miracle in his eyes. One of Finn's favorite things about Rachel was that she could carry a conversation.

"You know what? I think I'll just walk home from here, Finn. Thank you for the bowling, it was a chivalrous effort in getting me to come back to Glee Club. I'll see you at school on Monday." Rachel gives Finn a pointed look, and he pulls over and just watches her get out of the car and walk away.

He thinks that, sometimes, people have problems with themselves they need to work out before they can trouble others with. And Finn is so close to yelling out to Rachel, "I like you, but Quinn's pregnant," but this is an issue that he needs to work out with himself. Maybe it's because he didn't really want to be with Quinn for the rest of his life, and now he's committed to her for the rest of his life. Or it's because he doesn't know what Rachel will think of him when she finds out he got Quinn pregnant. He'd never be able to forgive himself if he lost Rachel's presence in his life. Or maybe it's because he doesn't want people to look at him like he just took the hottest girl in school of the market for good, because he kind of has. Or maybe, finally, it might just be because he is so terrified of the idea of people finding out that he is actually going to become a Lima Loser. That he's got a "super sperm" and got Quinn Fabray pregnant without even having sex with her. That he's just a coward and cares more about his reputation than anything else in the entire damn world.

And he's never hated himself more for it.


End file.
